Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Inanimate Objects

I sometimes find myself talking to inanimate objects. Strange start to this post you say? Well it is quite, but then so are most habits people develop so I felt I should share one of mine.

Anyway, I sometimes find myself talking to inert objects. My computer, the cupboard door, my shoes, and… well—now that I come to think of it—anything, I suppose. Now I am sure that so many people do this countless times in a day, though I’m not sure many have stopped and thought, ‘Why did just address my assailant, (the cupboard door) as a dick, (a fucking dick no less) for simply being in the way of my stupid head when I stood up?’

So I pondered the reason for me addressing the innocuous object this way. In this case, I thought that maybe it was away to numb the pain. Personifying it would allow it to take partial blame for my stupidity.

It didn’t paint the whole picture. There was more too it than that. That reason was more of a byproduct. So I thought of it simpler.
It was then that I realized I use the same tone and inclination when addressing animals. That loose sheep bleating from the field, that yappy dog jumping up from your heels, the chirping birds in the trees…

I realized I am challenging them to respond. Daring them to communicate with me and in doing so allow me to empathize with them. How good would that be? Telling your cupboard door to get out of the way when your head was approaching and never hitting your head again. Telling your shoelace to stop coming undone and tripping you up and it listening! Telling your dog to fetch your shoes and not drool on them…

To be honest I’m not sure why I am considering posting this drivel. Maybe it’s because I have just hit my head on a cupboard door and shouting at it didn’t achieve anything…

With a splitting headache,


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